One Thousand Four Hundred and Sixty One Days

 

Year four.

I have so many swarming thoughts about marrying “young” – Josh was 22, I was 21.
We met when I was 18.

What I didn’t know at 18 was that there’s a whole lot of growing up that’s done between 20 and 30.

But, ultimately, I’m thankful for a partner to walk through life with.
Even though we are growing up together.
Finding our values – together and separately.
Asking questions.
Getting angry sometimes.
Crying sometimes.
Holding hands.
Apologizing.
Again and again and again.

We’ve walked together through some really hard seasons.
Year three was like the sky was falling and the pain and worry seemed relentless.

This year we’ve celebrated some really sweet moments.
We became grateful for all the good news.
Grateful for the people that are around us.
Grateful for opportunities to find joy and value in our work.
Even if that meant quitting one job and starting another.
Or two.

We’ve also done a lot of really normal, every day things.
Like eating dinner.
Staying up too late with our friends.
Walking Millie.
And watching The Office over and over again.

Josh Morris,

I am grateful for you.
Your grace to let me stumble.
The way you approach situations with a completely different perspective.
(Which, while frustrating at times, is a wonderful gift.)

Your calmness when I’m spinning with worry.
The way you chase your passions.
And make shelves for me when I ask.

I’m eager for year five with you.

 

Gratitude 003

  1. Evening bike rides.
  2. Morning light through the bedroom window in our apartment.
  3. Interactions with strangers. The soon-to-be mom cutting my hair and the tired but grateful phlebotomist whose son, in his short life, has already survived cancer. These appointments are ones in which my preference would be to wear headphones. I’m grateful I didn’t.

The First Day

I stumbled upon this post from August 15, 2013.
The nostalgia of re-reading old posts keeps me up past my bedtime many nights.
This particular post was from my first day of student teaching in Pre-K.
And it was just what I needed to read.

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Crazy.
 

That is my chosen word for the first day of Preschool.

A, “You ready?” from Mrs. N.

And a fairly confident, “Yes.” from Mrs. Morris.

Parents walking their kiddos in.
Children that are swallowed up by their backpacks, grinning shyly from behind their parents’ back.
Or taking charge of their classroom by roaming about, dabbling in the sandbox.
Children that must be peeled away from their parents.
Scared to leave on their first day.

I wanted to say, “I know that feeling!” as I thought back to leaving my husband that morning.

A reading of No, David! to introduce our school rules.
An explanation of what would happen if you were caught picking your nose.

A shameless revelation of a booger picking four-year-old.

And we all know it just wouldn’t be Preschool without at least one outburst of, “BOOGERS!”.

A, “Wanna go on the teeter-totter?” from new friend to new friend.

A brief sigh of relief for a ten minute lunch break.

And it’s right back to it.

Right back to opening play-doh and showing kids how to use the brand new Prang watercolors.
Remember when painting wasn’t intimidating?
And you didn’t have to be the best?
You could just dip the brush into your favorite color and sweep the page.

That’s beautiful.

I already know these eight weeks with nineteen preschoolers is going to be too short.
I want to be there when the lightbulb comes on.
When they learn all the letters in their names.
And their friends’ names.
When they discover that they really are readers.

And when they solve problems with each other on their own.

And even though today was crazy.
It was the good kind of crazy.

The kind of crazy that says, “You can do this.”

This last year has brought about a lot of embarrassment and floundering and identity crisis related to my work. I still don’t have a whole lot sorted out.
But I do feel at peace with where I am for this season.
I feel joyful at work.
Grateful.
There’s something that’s just right about where I am.

Evolving Book List

I’ve had to fight the urge to tell myself that I’ve failed for the year.
My reading goals have taken a slight detour.

But it’s ok.

I’m learning more about my interests and what makes me say, “Hmm. I like that!”
While also trying to add a smidgen of discipline.

  1. Celebration of Discipline
  2. Jane Eyre
  3. How to Be Here
  4. Notes from a Blue Bike

So far I’m in the midst of Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, Ruthless Trust (again), and Far from the Tree (which is life changing already).

Gratitude 001

  1. A job where I can spend over half of my day outside.
  2. A husband who remembers that we need to replace the drip pans and the lightbulbs.
  3. Stepping into bravery.  For the musts. But one day for the wants as well.

Things & Such // Vol. V

Last week’s mole removal (Apple juice in a semi-reclining chair holding a bucket tally is now at three.) means I am over-researching sunscreens to never have that happen again.

This book is changing my life.

Doing thorough research for an upcoming trip by listening to this.
(In all seriousness, there are spreadsheets and Evernotes. Of course.)

Jotting down some love notes.  Follow along here.