On Having Enough Faith

A young teenager, I sat on the couch with my mom, trendy magazine-styled Bible in hand as I proceeded to proclaim to her my new revelation. My parents had placed our home on the market.  The first home they bought as newlyweds and the only home my sister and I had ever known. They had put an offer on a house we all loved – down the street from our school, big rooms for each daughter, and a few blocks from a city park. Now all that’s left was for someone to sweep in an place an offer on our childhood home. “We just need to have enough faith!” I tell her.

It was so simple:
“…Have faith in God.  Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, “Be taken up and thrown into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.’ Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, ad it will be yours.”

I believed it.
Probably then more than I would have now.
A decade of skepticism and life’s hardening have really worn down the simplicity of, “We just need to have enough faith!”

And that’s really hard to write.
It’s not what you’re supposed to say.
Everyone will tell you that.

And to make things even better – I still don’t have a neat and tidy explanation for Mark 11:20-25.

But it’s ok.

It’s actually a little bit refreshing to not have a neat and tidy answer.
To not be comfortable with God’s Word.
To have un-answered questions.

To trust God despite questions and pain and confusion.
To know that Jesus is what we hope for.
Not a sold house, or a new job, or even my family.

A sweet friend laid this book in my hands a few weeks ago and it has been facing all of my trust questions in a really painful but sweet way.

“We often presume that trust will dispel the confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case. Our trust does not bring final clarity to this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, as Jesus did on the cross, “Into your hands I commit my spirit.”

Thankfully, the house didn’t sell.
Despite my deepest pleadings.


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